Drive In Theater

In order to eliminate all insects from the path of the light from the motion picture projector to the screen, particularly in the proximity to the motion picture projector, provide a funnel-shape guard member [Item 28] directly ahead of the motion picture projector, outside of the wall of the projection house. Clean or filtered air is blown into the small end of the funnel through suitable nozzles so that a clean stream of air passes through the guard funnel preventing insects from gathering in the funnel, or approaching the lens of the projector….                                                                                                            Patent for A Drive In Theater, 1933

My mom and especially my father liked to go to Drive In Movies, and as a result I grew up seeing a lot of films from the confines of a pale blue 1969 Chevy Impala and a vomit green 1972 Olds 98 Regency (my dad liked GMs).  I’m 50. My earliest memory of any film is King Kong Escapes (1967), which was possibly paired with Yog: Monster from Space aka Space Amoeba (1970). I remember seeing a ton of flicks and most of them were fantasy films.  Sinbad, Gwangi, Homonicus, Kali, a griffin, Caroline Munro’s cleavage, a minoton, Calibos, Pegasus, Bobo, Dioskilos, Medusa and the Kraken all entertained me at the Drive In.

I saw Amicus films with Doug McClure battling prehistorical beasts and primitive humanoids. I watched Nazi zombie super-soldiers emerge from an underwater lair, and a disappointing Captain Nemo battle a giant manta ray. I also saw Tentacles (1977), which I loved, but I never saw Jaws at the Drive In because my dad wanted to “see it in a good theater with comfortable seats” (that Olds was a beast but River Oaks 70mm Theater had recliners).  I saw some stinkers too —Hammer’s The Lost Continent (1968) and Moon Zero Two (1969) come to mind. Moon Zero Two has the dubious distinction of fucking me over twice in a lifetime. I forgot that I had seen it as a kid, and being curious as I am bought it off Juan who pitched it as a rare Hammer oddity. Achtung! Buyer beware.

So, all this leads me to comment on something that has always puzzled me and it damn well had me up a night as a kid. If moths and other flying insects are attracted to light, specifically ultraviolet emissions, then why didn’t we see them flying as silhouette on top of our favorite screen demons and monsters?  Now I know —Mr. Hollinshead’s funnel.  Can anyone confirm if this is true? Does this funnel thing really work?

Mr. Hollingshead’s Patent (1933)

Kiss of the Tarantula (1976)

So silent

So deadly

So final

Kiss of the Tarantula (1975) crosses into two sub-genre of horror film. On one hand it is a misfit revenge movie similar in tone and competence to the killer snake movie Stanley (1972) and Horror High (1974) (a spin on the Jekyll and Hyde tale), with story elements possibly derived from Stephen King’s first published novel Carrie (1974) or Brian De Palma’s film Carrie (1976).  There are also definite similarities to the rat film Willard (1971). On the other hand, the movie falls under the category of when spiders attack films.  These include Frogs (1972)(cameo), Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo (1977) and the far superior Kingdom of the Spiders (1977), starring William Shatner.

Introverted Susan Bradley (Suzanna Ling) lives with her mortician father Walter (Eric Mason, Grave of the Vampire, 1972) and over-bearing sadistic mother Martha (Beverly Eddins).  Susan has a fondness for spiders. Her mother beats her anytime she handles or talks to a spider. Susan later discovers that her mother has a lover and is planning to have her father killed.  Having none of that, young Susan places a plump Mexican redknee tarantula (Brachypelma smithi) in her bed. Susan’s mother has a heart attack and dies. Susan grows up to be a beautiful, albeit odd young woman who harbors tarantulas in the basement of the funeral home.

As a halloween prank, some of the [oldest ever] local high schoolers sneak into the Bradley Funeral Home to steal a coffin. Susan discovers them, asks them to leave, but the pranksters discover Susan’s spider room.  One of the tarantulas is crushed under the boot of badboy Joe Penny (Mark Smith).

Later, in an effective scene in a ventilation duct, Joe is greeted by several tarantulas. Claustrophobes and arachnophobes stay clear.

Kiss of the Tarantula has a creepy sub-plot with Susan’s uncle John (Herman Wallner), who was her mother’s lover, also showing sexual interest in Susan.  Uncle John is also investigating the murders and discovers the tie to Susan.  What will Uncle John do? The ending is surprising, macabre and good twisted fun.

Kiss of the Tarantula was directed by Chris Munger. IMDb notes that along with actress Suzanna Ling, this is their single contribution to film.  It’s a shame —while Kiss is passable drive-in fodder and mediocre filmmaking, the film holds your interest and has some effective moments. This would make fun pairing with Kingdom of the Spiders (1977).  I give this film 5/10 stars. Fun drive-in nonsense boosted with unusual ending.

Italian One-Sheet, below.