Escape from Vampire Island
Escape from Vampire Island. You got me. I fell for the bait like a carp sniffing out a whole kernel of corn soaked in bourbon. Rue Morgue magazine has been running a full page advertisement for this Japanese P.O.S., and being a notorious sucker for Asian horror I purchased the Blue-ray, blindly, on-line for about 20 bones. How bad could it be? The opening sequence was so promising with a vampire-hunter crushing skulls of the badboys using a massive bundle of fibre (splat). Then we’re introduced to Akira and his irritating entourage of wise-cracking comedians. I will be first to admit that I don’t understand Japanese humor. I didn’t understand it in King Kong vs. Godzilla and I don’t get it in Final Wars. When horror and comedy are masterfully blended we get a film like An American Werewolf in London or A&C Meet Franky. This film gave me a headache.
There are so many awesome Japanese horror films out there that I can’t even recommend this for the most curious. Ugh. I hate CGI monsters. Go away. Start with Criterion prints of Kwaidan or Kuroneko, and try Jigoku if you’re bold. Even better, Samurai fans check out the linen boxed set of Kurosawa films from Criterion (it’s half off now at Barnes & Noble Bookstores).
Note: P.O.S. = Piece of Shit