Abominable (2005)

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Keeping in concert with monsterminions cryptid month, I’m throwing in a few movie reviews beginning with Ryan Schifrin’s Abominable (2005). This is one of the better bigfoot films ever made and probably the best in the last ten years. It’s certainly the scariest bigfoot film I have seen. The film stars several familiar faces, including Matt McCoy (L.A. Confidential), Lance Henrikson (how many Bigfoot films has this guy made?), Jeffrey Combs (Re-Animator), Paul Gleason (Die Hard), and Dee Wallace-Stone (The Howling).

The film opens with bigfoot terrorizing farmers Dee Wallace-Stone and husband Farmer Hoss (actor Rex Linn). Bigfoot kills a quarter horse and the family setter. The monster leaves tracks in the snow. Later, Hoss and hick friends Ziegler (Henriksen in a cameo) and an emphysemic sidekick (played to the hilt by Jeffrey Combs) set out to find and kill the creature.

Matt McCoy plays paraplegic rock climber Preston Rogers who returns to his mountain retreat for rest. He’s accompanied by asshole and annoying physical therapist Otis (Christien Tinsley). Nearby are several co-ed babes, including actress Haley Joel as Amanda. Rogers is confined to a wheelchair and witnesses the disappearance of one of the girls. He later observes bigfoot’s owl-like eyes peaking through the forest. Caretaker Otis will have none of this and attempts to sedate Preston (think Will Ferrell in Old School).

Meanwhile, the three hicks encounter bigfoot. He lives in a cave with skeletons. There always seems to be bones in caves. Bigfoot eats a few girls. Amanda escapes. Preston and Amanda prepare for the worst.

Abominable offers several surprising “bus scenes” -I jumped a few times. The film is suspenseful and pays homage to Rear Window and Jaws. “I’m gonna need a bigger knife”. There’s also a very observant scene paying tribute to the Yeti film Half-Human (1958), where the creature retrieves a victim dangling on a rope. The creature looks terrific too, with splayed eyes, gnarly teeth and articulated jaws. To me he looks a bit like character actor Jack Elam (I’m serious). Abominable is great fun and must creature feature viewing. How can you go wrong with the line “Hey ass-monkey eat this!”

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