Archive for the Bad Films I Love Category

Roger Corman’s Guardians of the Galaxy

Posted in Bad Films I Love, Miscellania with tags , on April 22, 2019 by MONSTERMINIONS

Haaaa! A very poor mashup I worked up. StarCrash is actually a fun romp. Tessier would have made a good Drax and Caroline a stunning Gamora.

Roger Corman presents “Guardians of the Galaxy” (1979) starring David Hasselhoff as Peter Quill, Caroline Munro as Gamora, Robert Tessier as Drax the Destroyer, Hamilton Camp as Rocket and Salvatore Baccaro as Groot.

El Braniac!

Posted in Bad Films I Love, Collectibles, Miscellania with tags , on January 24, 2019 by MONSTERMINIONS

RIP Conrad Brooks

Posted in Bad Films I Love, Bela & Boris, RIP with tags on December 6, 2017 by MONSTERMINIONS

William Grefe

Posted in Bad Films I Love, Old School with tags on April 13, 2016 by MONSTERMINIONS

Good shot of director and jack of all trades William Grefe at Cinema Wasteland, April 2016. Bill dropped by our table and shared stories about rattlesnakes, sharks, giant jellyfish monsters, bikers, and shooting gorilla-style in Florida. Good show Bill!

 
IMDb Bio

What do Reptilicus and the Gargantuas have in common?

Posted in Bad Films I Love, Cult Movies, Kaiju, Miscellania with tags , on November 16, 2015 by MONSTERMINIONS

Reptilicus

Back in the heady days of the 1970’s, I largely existed on an UHF-fed stream of horror, fantasy and sci-fi films emanating from Chicagoland television transmitters.  My favorite genre has always been giant monsters and on one particular evening I was faced with every monster movie kid’s dilemma: two cinematic jaugernauts were being broadcast at the same time.  This was a time anticipating the wide-spread occurrence of video and videotape capabilities. There was no taping. There was no Tivo. There were no VHS or Beta tapes. No laserdiscs, DVD or Blurays. We circled what films were obvious gems in the TV guide and waited patiently and hoped none of the films overlapped.

On this day Reptilicus was playing on one station and a ridiculously dubbed print of War of the Gargantuas (which I had never seen) on another.  Oh no!!! What will I do? All I could do was flip back and forth between channels.  As I sat there watching dual films unfold my mom made a comment that is forever branded into my memory.

She said this:

“Oh, how odd… What are the chances of us watching two movies at the same time on different channels, yet both featuring monsters capable of regenerating their limbs?”

I was floored. Regeneration -the mind boggles.

Later, as I grew more sophisticated I learned of more regenerative monsters, such as The Blob, John Carpenter’s The Thing, The Green Slime, and others. I even learned that if you carefully slice a member of the Planariidae between the eyes, you’ll end up with a two-headed flatworm.

Those were good times.  Now we don’t have to flip channels back and forth, but some of the magic has gone wayside.  I miss those days.

war_of_the_gargantuas

The latent regenerative power of Reptilicus!

Screen Shot 2015-11-16 at 6.37.42 PM

Reptilicus Program

 

Thoughts on Manos HD/Bluray

Posted in Bad Films I Love, Cult Movies with tags , on October 14, 2015 by MONSTERMINIONS

Oh man. What was I thinking?  For some inexplicable reason I assumed that a remastered Bluray version of MANOS would magically convert it into a remotely watchable and entertaining film.  I was so wrong. This film cannot be saved.  If anything the cleanup and “HD” transfer reveals even more grain, more moths, more clapper boards, more ineptitude…. MTHOF sucks and I’m out $14.99 and I ALMOST forked out $25 for this piece of shit at the Synapse table at Cinema Wasteland.

Body of Prey (1966), aka The Revenge of Doctor X / Revenge of the Venus Flytrap (1970)

Posted in Bad Films I Love with tags , , , on June 23, 2015 by MONSTERMINIONS

Your father will be the rain! Your powers are lighting!

FLYTRAP

Wait a minute! This title credit isn’t from 1966 or 1970… This was done with a computer! What gives?

Oh my.  This is a hard one to write about.

About every ten years or so I discover a film so bad I am mesmerized and left stunned that such a film actually exists.  These are the films with inept dialogue, out of focus or poorly composed photography, terrible acting, poor production values and direction by people better suited for selling fertilizer.  In the 70’s I discovered The Incredible Petrified World (1957), which is my vote for the most boring film ever made. In the 80’s, brothers Medved introduced me to Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) and Robot Monster (1953), which are terrible films but at least entertaining. In the 90’s, I watched Bio-Drome (1996), which my dad called the worst movie he had ever seen — “El grande stencho“!”

Along the way I was introduced to a film called Manos: The Hand of Fate (1966), which was actually a government experiment levied upon the public to induce and assess narcolepsy in movie-goers. The millenium opened with Battlefield Earth (2000), which is my vote for the worst expensive film ever made, and Road to Perdition (2002), which along with Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004), the only films I have ever walked out on.  Now, in 2015, I discover Revenge of the Venus Flytrap (1970) on an Alpha Home Entertainment double bill DVD with Larry Buchanon’s In the Year 2889 (1967).  Revenge of the Flytrap?  What the hell is this?  Alpha notes the film was written by the notorious Edward D. Wood, Jr.  I quickly forked out $10 to one of Ron Adams henchman and was the proud owner of perhaps the all-time worst DVD double-bill ever pressed.

FLYTRAP ALL THE WAY FROM NORTH CAROLINAThe film stars James Craig (The Devil and Daniel Webster, 1941; The Cyclops, 1957), who looks and barks like Richard Boone with a dash of pencil-thin mustached Lon Chaney, circa mid-1940’s Universal Inner Sanctum series.  Craig plays Dr. Alex Bragan, a high-strung rocket scientist who takes his boss’s advice and takes a break with a trip to North Carolina and later to Japan.  While in North Carolina he digs up (in a cattail marsh!) a Venus Flytrap specimen and carts it back home. There he nurtures it and takes it on a trip to Japan, where he expands his vacation as a mad scientist botanist who splices a Venus Flytrap with a Japanese marine flytrap (WTF) and some of his own blood and there you go.
BABY FLYTRAP

Before I get too far, I should point out that you won’t find an IMDb entry for “Body of Prey” (the films original title) or “Revenge of Doctor X” or “Revenge of the Venus Flytrap” (Alpha’s concocted title) or “The Double Garden” yet another release name. It is listed on IMDb as Venus Flytrap. There’s not much written about it, but internet sleuthing and a fine review by Dave Sindelar on the MKCHF, reveals the film’s rich and confusing production history.  Frankly, I am amazed it reached a DVD pressing.  I don’t know if this was penned by Ed Wood, Jr or not and it really doesn’t matter. This film is BAD anyway you look at it. Basically this piece of crap sat in a warehouse and was never finished. After being found (a found footage film!) various releases in the public domain were cut claiming different “talents” with artistic provenance (“directed by Eddie Romero”).  The dialogue is so strange I wouldn’t be surpised if the film is traced back to Wood —”Unless I miss my guess, my creation is so powerful now it could devour anything….”

FLYTRAP_GIANT PLANT

About the only thing noteworthy in this film is a few shots of topless Japanese diver girls and one insanely inept monster that looks like an onion blossom with dreadlocks on a human torso with red catchers gloves for hands. Wow.

FLYTRAP_NUDES

Still, Revenge of the Venus Fly Trap is a lot of fun, playing like a twisted amalgamation of Day of the Triffids, The Bride of Frankenstein, Mutations, Zaat (1971), and The Terror Beneath the Sea (1966). But don’t for a minute think that this makes for a good film. Don’t bite on this tantalizing image of a monster with an inverted rutabaga for a head. Don’t you do it. Don’t buy this DVD HERE for $5.99.

FLYTRAP_HEAD

Eat that goat!

FLYTRAP_EAT THE GOATFlytrap! Top 10 worst films ever made.