Happy Memorial Day Weekend

For Memorial Day Weekend 2012 I will be remembering Bela Lugosi.

The Ymir

Uhny Uftz (1965)

It mumbled huh? Of all the flying saucers in the world he has to get one with a speech impediment…

Uhny Uftz is Episode #129 from the Dick Van Dyke Show.  It aired September 29, 1965.  It’s one of my all-time favorite episodes of any TV show. Rob, Sally and Buddy are up working late into the morning hour. Sally and Buddy go on a coffee run leaving Rob, sleepy, in the office alone.  He hears a strange sound…

UHNY UFTZ. It sounds a bit like “Sonny Tufts” (star of Cat-Women of the Moon, 1953). Rob looks out of the window and claims he sees a flying saucer.  Buddy and Sally arrive and think Rob has lost it. Buddy cracks out a few one liners.

But later Buddy hears the noise…. UHNY UFTZ… Echoing from a vent. Buddy and Rob follow the noise and find it originates from a locked door. Out walks Karl (actor John Mylong, Robot Monster, 1953). He presses Buddy and Rob to go in the room.

Inside we meet henchman Hugo (Karl Lukas, who was everywhere in the 60′s) in a welding helmet.  Uhny Uftz originates from a toy flying saucer…

The electronic voice was supposed to say Merry Christmas, but Hugo goofed.  Buddy and Rob give it a fly…

UHNY UFTZ!

The saucer came up in a Hollywood Auction a year or so ago.  Looks like the paint job changed a bit.  I wonder who bought it?

10 Surefire Ways to Ruin a Horror Film

After watching the terrific creature feature Island of the Dead (1966), where just about every facet of monster filmmaking clicks, I got to thinking about how modern horror/sci-fi films basically suck.  Yeah yeah I know there are exceptions (I’m looking forward to Prometheus too), but overall I’m not impressed.  Why do modern fantasy films suck?  Here’s my list of 10 surefire ways to ruin a horror film:

1. Leave the classics alone. This includes Psycho, The Wolfman, Creature from the Black Lagoon (forthcoming), Godzilla (forthcoming again) and the ultimate no no King Kong. Films re-booted from literature (e.g. Frankenstein and Dracula) are ok, I guess, but the stories have been recycled so many times that they are far too familiar.  Even Roger Corman’s revision of the monster Frankenstein Unbound (1990), although different, is still a Frankenstein film. Hammer got by with fine writing and direction, sound British actors and color adaptations.
2. Casting Jack Black in any horror film may be considered anathema. The same goes for Keanu Reeves. Sorry Matrix fans. Keanu Reeves sucks.
3. Too much CGI.  Yeah I know it’s cheaper.  It looks that way too. Story first.  Use the computer renders to support the film.  Jackson missed the whole point of King Kong.  Kong is a monster, not a hyper-real gorilla.  Gorilla’s are not very interesting.  Charles Gemora in an ape suit is interesting.
4. Length.  Why are movies so long?  The restored Aliens is two and a half hours long. Maybe even longer. I’ve lost how many versions of this film that have been hacked together.  90 to 110 minutes is perfect.
5. Revealing the monster early.  It can work (Night of the Demon, 1957), but usually misfires.  Slowly show the monster to build suspense.  Remember the Creature from the Black Lagoon? Or Jaws? Slow is better.  But don’t wait too long.  A good monster shot a third way through the flick keeps my attention.
6. Focusing on special effects.  Story first.  This goes hand-in-hand with Item 3.  The SPFX should support the story.  Release criticism of Blade Runner (1982) was the film was FX heavy.  I guess it was, but the film has improved with age and the visuals don’t seem as impressive as they were on the big screen.
7. Releasing a horror film during the holiday season (Thanksgiving – Christmas).  It just boggles my mind when a film like The Thing (remake No. 2) is released not around Halloween, but during Christmas.  Dumb.
8. Post-production meddling and studio-imposed endings.  Ugh.  This isn’t alway obvious.  Look for awkward cuts and dead story-lines and stupid endings.  Case in point: the most-recent Wolf Man remake.
9. Light imbalance.  Night and daylight scenes are needed, especially for vampire and werewolf flicks. It’s true.  I like the Underworld films, but the CGI and dark lighting/rendering gets to me after a while.
10. Obnoxious teenagers texting and playing Angry Birds in the theater.  If I could I would feed those kids to The Alligator Man.

Bring back Robert Armstrong please…

On Charles Gemora:

http://www.cinefania.com/terroruniversal/index.php?id=133

Island of Terror (1966)

This film is quintessential b-movie monster greatness and one of my all-time favorites.  Everything works beginning with rapid editing, fine direction by Hammer regular Terence Fisher, an original and taut score, a moody setting (there’s Brocket Hall again), a terrific supporting cast (Niall MacGinnis), an unusual story about cancer research gone bad, the inimitable Peter Cushing and the unforgettable turtle monsters or Silicates.  Island of Terror (1966) is a fast paced film.  Like The Thing from Another World (1951),  Doom Watch (1972), and The Wicker Man (1973),  the movie benefits from the uneasiness of an unknown terror threatening an isolated and unprepared group of people. Terence Fisher’s direction is sublime.  However, this is not a Hammer production.

In some ways, Island of Terror reminds me a bit of a 007 flick —I like how Peter Cushing (Dr. Brian Stanley) and Edward Judd (Dr. David West) don Level A radiation suits. They look like Dr. No!  My friend Jim thought the film to be a “little bit Dr. Who-ish”.   The monsters look like they might appear in a Dr. Who episode.

You’ll notice the research facilty as Karswell’s mansion Lufford Hall (Night of the Demon, 1957). This is the historical home of Lord Brocket, in Hertfordshire, England.  It’s in several films.

Here’s a plot rundown.  An island off the coast of Ireland harbors a research facility and specialists using radioisotopes in hopes of finding a cure for cancer.  A body of local farmer Ian Bellows is found devoid of bone structure.  His body is essentially a big mass of jelly.  A local Dr. Landers (Eddie Byrne) examines the body and recruits input from mainland Dr. Stanley (Peter Cushing) who specializes in pathology.  Both doctors are dumbfounded and consult with bone specialist Dr. David West (Edward Judd).  The three good doctors and West’s wealthy girlfriend Toni Merrill (Carole Gray) fly to the Island of Terror via a Sikorsky helicopter.

The doctors examine the corpse of Ian Bellows and discover numerous minute puncture wounds and discover that his bones and skeletal structure have been completely dissolved.  Other bodies are discovered. They recruit the aid of a local constable and investigate the cancer reasearch facility run by a mysterious Dr. Philips (there are a lot of doctors in this film).  Several “jelly” bodies are discovered.  The constable pokes around in the wrong place…

Still in the catacombs of the research facility, Stanley, Merrill, West and Landers encounter a strange slug-like creature with a hard tough carapace and long snake-like tentacle.  Landers grabs an ax…

The doctors discover that the creatures or “silicates” become dormant when they split.  They multiple much like primitive organisms… One silicate becomes 2, then 4, 8, 16 and so on… 

Peter Cushing and friends learn that Doctor Philips research into creating cancer fighting cells led to the creation of the durable, deadly multiplying silicates.  Local islanders are informed.  I particularly like Niall MacGinnis (Karswell in Night of the Demon) who plays one of the island leaders toting a shotgun.

Peter Cushing approaches one of the silicates with a Geiger counter…

I won’t spoil the ending, but Cushing has an encounter…

Island of Terror is tremendous fun.  This film serves as a template on how to make a good sci-fi/horror film:

1. Hire Terence Fisher (or other experienced horror/action film director)
2. Hire Peter Cushing (or Christopher Lee)
3. Hire good writers.
4. Create a weird and interesting monster and have it stalk people in an isolated setting.
5. Film on location.
6. Don’t make the film too long.
7. Add punchy score.
8. Never ever add CGI unless it’s a superhero movie like The Avengers.

Ah, they don’t make ‘em like they used to…

Film Location Info:

http://www.movie-locations.com/movies/n/nightofdemon.html

 

The Phororhacus

LensFlare App

Wired ran an article this month regarding top photography editing applications.  The LensFlare App is a lot of fun.  You never know when you might want to strategically place a plasma bolt on a directed energy weapon…  Here are before and after images.  Pretty cool!